killself:

visiting Yahoo Answers instead of a doctor

(via shak1ra)

zackisontumblr:

you know a text post has made it to the big time when it gets stolen by twitter parody accounts

(via shak1ra)

funasshi:

spunkydragonwithdeadlylegs:

funasshi:

townsvillain:

preshiram:

why do some women masturbate with vegetables. are you really that desperate 

if i had a hole like that i’d stick anything i could in there, shit i’d probably keep my house keys in there

i would put my keys in there if my vagina wasnt tighter than a black hole

i dont think you meant a black hole because that implies that your vagina is a maw from which not even light can escape

i know what i said

(via alexxkingston)

poopflow:

my life could easily be summed up to pouring a bowl of cereal and realizing that theres no milk

(via alexxkingston)